The Roommate Experience

At the age of 18 I lived in a rented room with a family member who was rarely home. At 19 I had my own apartment with my young son. At 21 I was married and paid for an apartment for my boyfriend in a city 200+ miles away, while I helped his grandparents by staying with them until we were married. We soon got an apartment, and then a home. I retained the house until after the divorce, then I got my own apartment, met the true love of my life and ythe the damn finally burst, after a year and a half of alcohol, bad decisions, my past caught up with me. I had to finally face everything that had happened, good and bad, and finally deal with it. My mind snapped. I lost my job and my ability to be a productive member of society. Then I met the love of my life and he rescued me. We lived together, and as my mind and body deteriorated he stepped up and took care of our beautiful daughter and his now 'crazy' wife. 

Life isn't easy, supporting a stay at home mom & a young daughter. 

We have found ourselves in a position where roommates are a necessity, to help both families. 

I have decided that having a small army of children is not for me. The 'introvert' side of me thrives in the calm at the moment, and having 3-7 children at any given time is an insane thought and decision. 

Whe life gives you lemons you make lemonade, as long as the children don't hide them! 

Look up

It's amazing the strength that is hidden inside when the only thing you can do is hit your knees and pray that it will all be okay. 

2015 - phew! Boy, am I glad you are gone!!

January Trever was hauling Nitrogen in New Mexico things were okay on the home front, struggling with stomach issues, but still movin forward. 

February; The infamous trip to visit Trever in New Mexico. Let's just say long term stay hotels are not the best place to spend an extended period of time 👎 oh, and Happy Birthday Trever, we are laying everyone off. 

March; found out we were pregnant -oh my- just kidding, failed pregnancy, emergency surgery to ensure no tubule pregnancy. 

APRIL 23rd 4:51pm a moment in history that will NEVER be forgotten 

A message from my aunt & a phone cal. "Molly, it's about your Daddy, he's been in a motorcycle accident, he didn't make it." My heart was ripped out of my chest, I had groceries in my hand and I just crumbled onto the floor. I honestly cannot remember the next 24 hours, I know I called Jenna, I called Trever & my mom. My sister came over and we were on an airplane the next day. 10 days in Yuma, a miscarriage, a memorial(5/1/15), and my wedding.(5/2/15) 

June-August Trever was working in ND again for this awesome company, family housing, etc etc -just kidding work has stopped. More hospital visits, ER staff and I are on first name basis;)

September/October We sell everything that is not nailed down in our home, Trever starts local job, praise The Lord!!!

November-December more medical, in and out of hospital 12/4 hospitalized for blood clots, and the whole house gets the mother of all colds, and we're moving!! 

We've survived the most trying year to date, God has carried us by the skin of our teeth as him and the devil fight for our souls. 

You don't know you're strength until the only direction to look is up. I pray 2016 is more kind & uneventful, but we have the best defense team in the world!

I Would Do It Again

You are too young to understand the meaning of unconditional love and the sacrifices a mom makes, but someday you will. 

I carried you 9 months you caused great pain and beauty marks that will last a lifetime 

I would do it again

You kept me up so many nights when you first arrived, no matter how tired I was I would jump out of bed to comfort you

I would do it again

As the months flew by you found your voice, you would scream for hours for no reason at all, so I would hold you tight and wear out the carpet pacing and rocking you

I would do it again

Once you learned to walk I tried to protect you from falling and chase you from dawn until the wee hours of the following morning, and hold you once you ran out of energy

I would do it again 

Once you decided that mom's rules were no fun and learned to climb on chairs it would raise my blood pressure to unsafe levels

I would still guide you and catch you

When you've watched mom in the kitchen so many times, you decided you needed to be there to help me any chance you could. Once I was pulling a hot pan out of the oven, you decided the best place to be was behind me, and instead of dropping a hot pan on you I decided to fall & throw the pan away from your direction, I broke my wrist in the process but you were safe. 

I would do it again 

You are quite the little helper, you decided mom didn't need a seat to sit on, so you removed it for me, causing me to fall on the chair and injure my back. You asked if I was okay, I of course lied and said I was okay because you were safe. 

I would tell you I'm okay a million times so you wouldn't get upset. 

On the days you were sick and not your rambunctious self, I sat up day and night listening to you cough and arguing with you about the need for an accurate temperature. 

I would still cuddle you, watch videos with you, and get that temperature every time. 

Everyday is a new adventure, every minute is 60 seconds I will never get back. 

You are my strong willed angel. I ask that you spread your wings, you grow and never stop learning. 

Know that mommy is nowhere near perfect, but I hope you know always try my best, and I would do it all again! 

You are a force to be reckoned with but I would not change one thing about you.

I love you my little Abagail